Aquarirus Horrorscope

Today, Aquarirus, the universe yawns in your direction, unleashing a cryptic gust that almost sounds like advice. You may find yourself haunted by a brilliant idea—one so original that even the ghosts of innovation quietly shuffle away in confusion. As usual, everyone else will fail to comprehend your vision; take solace in the knowledge that true genius is indistinguishable from a malfunctioning coffee pot.

This afternoon, expect a sudden urge to rearrange your sock drawer in binary code or compose a manifesto about the rights of inanimate objects. Friends and coworkers might look alarmed, but remember: their skepticism is just envy in disguise. Probably. Or perhaps an omen. It's hard to be sure when the signs are written in invisible ink.

Tonight, your dreams will be interrupted by the faint sound of cosmic static. Pay close attention—within this white noise, you may decipher the secret to perpetual motion or, failing that, at least a creative way to avoid answering emails. If your third eye starts to twitch, try not to panic; it's just your brain buffering existential updates.