Capricorpse Horrorscope

Morning light creeps into your lair, Capricorpse, illuminating a to-do list as eternal and unwieldy as a Victorian ghost's unfinished business. Today, you'll attempt to summon the motivation to cross off at least one task — only to find it multiply like paperwork hydras whenever your back is turned. Productivity is haunted, but so are you, so perhaps you'll feel right at home shuffling through bureaucratic purgatory.

The spirits of meetings past may attempt to reach out via cryptic emails or, worse, calendar invitations. Proceed with caution — anything scheduled after 3pm is more likely a séance in disguise. Lane-change your ambition: today, your greatest achievement may be successfully declining a single invitation to linger among the living (i.e., coworkers).

This evening's dreams promise a subtle existential dread, featuring endless corridors and alarm clocks that ring forever in the background. Interpret this as a cosmic invitation to rest. Remember: sleep is not the enemy, but it does keep your deadlines at bay… at least until tomorrow's haunting begins anew.