Grimini Horrorscope

Today, Grimini, both of your faces wake up simultaneously convinced they are the "real you." One wishes for a day of serene clarity, the other quietly plots the best way to avoid confrontation with your toaster. You will spend the morning locked in a silent, complex debate with yourself, but don't worry: everyone else will simply assume you're working on an internal TED Talk titled "How To Overthink Everything."

As the afternoon creeps in, expect minor miscommunications; your left foot will want to go to coffee, while your right foot prefers existential dread. Friends may marvel at your adaptability, completely unaware that you are, in fact, writing contradictory life stories in real-time. By evening, you’ll realize that your best company is you—and also your other you, whom you secretly resent for hogging the remote control.

Beware of mirrors, digital reflections, and mildly judgmental pets. They can sense the duality inside you and are silently tallying which version will forget to feed them first. Should you find yourself haunted by the existential question, "Did I lock the door, or did my shadow?"—remember: in the cosmic ledger, ambiguity is as good as intent.