Librawr Horrorscope

Greetings, Librawr, avatar of analysis paralysis! Today, the cosmic scales tip not in your favor, but simply dangle in the breeze, creaking ominously and refusing to settle. Every menu, every tab, and every path divides into even more appealing (or, let’s be honest, equally mediocre) options. The universe watches with popcorn as you spend 42 minutes deciding if you should scroll or swipe.

An important decision will haunt the back of your mind—a small one, perhaps, like choosing socks or friends, but watch as its unimportance multiplies its terror. Remember: inaction is also a choice, and today that means arriving everywhere either overdressed or slightly metaphysical.

Your phone’s battery percentage may become a metaphor for your soul’s energy. If it dips too low, consider this a cosmic reminder to charge yourself with snacks, naps, or a brief scream into the cosmic void (but not too loud—the neighbors might weigh in, and then you’ll have even more input).

Strive for balance, but expect the universe to nudge your scales gently and laugh when you attempt to steady them. It’s less about equilibrium and more about becoming comfortable burrowing in the fertile soil of mild panic. Embrace the indecision; after all, all roads lead to confusion eventually.