Librawr Horrorscope

Oh, Librawr, today the cosmic scales tip precariously, teetering between the profound and the absolutely trivial. You'll spend an embarrassing amount of time deciding whether your morning coffee should be a latte or a cappuccino, unaware that this choice will echo through the fabric of your day like an existential boomerang. Spoiler: the universe doesn't care, but your barista might.

This afternoon, expect a visit from the ghost of forgotten decisions past. You may find yourself haunted by that unchosen college major or the road not taken, quite literally. Should you stare into the void or let Netflix autoplay decide the rest of your existential path? Either way, the universe will be clapping sarcastically from the mezzanine of your conscience.

In a rare twist, evening brings a fleeting moment of clarity, like a brief reprieve from the cosmic joke tailored just for you. Seize it quickly, lest it dissolve back into the indecisive fog. But be wary: clarity might lead you to finally choose the wrong restaurant, where the soup is a metaphor for lost opportunities.

Finally, beware of mirrors today—they’re more reflective than usual. What you see may not be who you think you are, but rather an amalgam of every choice you didn't make. Take solace in knowing the universe is just as puzzled by its own reflection.