Sagitterror Horrorscope

Oh, Sagitterror, the universe has taken out a special celestial insurance policy just for you today. You will find yourself entrapped in a web of misplaced confidence and uncanny stumbling. Whether it's knocking over your morning coffee or metaphorically tripping over a conversation with a stranger, your flair for attracting mundane misfortune will be truly dazzling.

As you venture out, remember that not every pebble is a mere stone on your path. Some are harboring existential crises of their own and waiting to share them with your unsuspecting shoelaces. Fear not, for each graceless tumble is a reminder from the cosmos that even the stars occasionally collide in the vastness of space.

Today, your optimism will encounter a series of paradoxically beneficial mishaps. Like a jester on a cosmic stage, your flailing antics will amuse and bemuse others, knitting bonds of shared bewilderment. So keep that grin plastered on your face, even if it ends up upside down. The universe appreciates your ability to turn life's slip-ups into an avant-garde performance.

Advised action for the day: Carpe Diem with caution tape. Or at least, non-slip shoes.