Virgloom Horrorscope
Updated daily at midnight
August 23 - September 22
Obsessed with perfection, haunted by the ghosts of typos past and the fear of missing a detail. Everything must be just so... or else.
Today, Virgloom, you will feel the spectral pinch of every imperfectly aligned spreadsheet cell. The cosmos has shuffled its Excel rows just off-center, and you alone can sense the asymmetry gnawing at the edges of reality. Remember: It is not paranoia if the universe truly is out to undo your formatting.
An email typo from six months ago will stalk your dreams today, whispering suggestions for unsolicited apologies. Beware of compulsively re-editing your own coffee order; the barista has already judged you, and there's no Ctrl+Z in real life.
Attend to your surroundings, as the poltergeists of unfiled paperwork hover hungrily. Each unchecked box is a vacuum where chaos eagerly multiplies. Only you can sweep away the pandemonium—one step-by-haunted-step.